Red means stop.

It hasn't even been a week yet and I've already seen more than five people with a death wish, and all somehow want to die by being hit by, or being in, a car crash. The thing is that any kid over ten should have better sense than these people; we're talking about some of the most basic rules of the rules. It's not like we're asking them to parallel park, or to at least be handicapped when the use a handicapped parking spot. No this is pretty much, stop on red, yield on yellow, go on green, and don't walk out in the middle of fucking rush-hour traffic when cars are still streaming past.

There's this roundabout that I have to pass by pretty much every single day, and people seem to have no idea as to just how a roundabout is supposed to function. First, there is a big YIELD TO PEDESTRIANS sign, right next to the crosswalk, so when you see a pedestrian walking across the crosswalk you YIELD, or if the pedestrian is slow or having trouble getting across the crosswalk you STOP. You do not constantly edge forward in an apparent threat to run their ass over if they don't hurry up. Second, there is a reason there is a right lane at the begging of the roundabout, that is for people that just need to turn right and DON'T have to use the roundabout; so if your in the other lane, it may not be illegal to turn right, but it is damn asinine if you ask me. It's just a simple right turn, it's not like we're asking you to perform a Michigan Left (a Michigan Left is actually a right turn, and a U-turn done to turn left [don't ask, our road system was probably designed by drunken monkeys]) or anything. Thirdly, I know from personal experience that almost all drivers don't use their turn signals; however, since a roundabout's exits can generally be taken without much need to slow down, you should give some kind of signal (other than the screeching of your brakes) that you're about to go all Evel Knievel on us. Now this is just the start of what is my day, trust me it gets a lot better, or worse, depending upon your point of view.

For example, cars have all stopped to let someone pass at an intersection that again, has a sign proudly declaring YIELD TO PEDESTRIANS. All of sudden another car comes along in the other lane, completely ignoring the fact that the other lane has probably stopped for a reason; this car is just trucking' along and then the pedestrian exits out of the first lane, and starts to enter the next. The end result of which is a squeal of tires, and one guy who came within no more than two feet from being hit (and will probably never give the fact that he almost died a second thought).

Not that pedestrians are any better, there is a reason that we have those don't walk and walk signs; they're straightforward in what you should be doing right? Also of course, people do realize that signs that say YIELD TO PEDEDSTRIANS don't apply if the car is ten feet from the sign don't they? So, why do I see people wander out into the middle of a busy intersection looking like they are trying to re-enact a scene from, "The Truman Show," you do know that it was just movie, don't you? Oh, and I don't care how good you are at, Frogger, but those physics don't apply here, and last time I checked you weren't a frog.

So here it is, I'm at this middle-of-the-road crosswalk/traffic-signal waiting to cross two lanes of traffic (going both ways) that are going by at good clip, and again this random guy shows up at the other side of the crosswalk. He stands there for a bit, waiting for the sign to change, and then he just walks out while traffic is still going on, and a car is coming right at him. Now for just a quick recap, this guy is walking out into the middle of two-way traffic, the light for the cars is still, very much so, green, pedestrians still have a red light, and car is heading right for him. You're probably thinking SPLAT! Right?

Well, the car is actually able to stop in time, with good distance to spare, and the random guy just walks on completely oblivious to the fact of what he just did. Oh, and the final kicker is that shortly after he crossed, and the car in question went on its way, the sign changed to WALK.

It's bad enough that we have to deal with people using their cell phones while driving, and riding a bike (I'm not shitting you on that, if you don't believe me), but now I'm expected to have to start my day and explain to people that I'm late because I had to be a witness to some random person becoming street pizza!? I can just imagine how my some of my bosses would react to that:

Boss: Why are you late, you overpaid ingrate?
Me: There was an accident, and I had to stay to be a witness.

Or

Me: Oh nothing, I was just in the bathroom throwing up my digestive tract - after seeing somebody complete eviscerated!
Boss: Ah, I don't care, just get back to work.

Well I'm just glad that I can take some solstice in the fact that if I was ever to be run over because someone was talking on their cell phone, they would at least be able to call for help on their cell phone - That is if they weren't so busy phoning their friends to tell them that they just hit somebody.